


Pathetic Fragments

by Vasser



Category: Banana Fish (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Abandonment Issues, Alcoholism, Bad coping mechanisms, Drunk Character, Emotionally Unstable Character, Enemies, Hatred, Heated Argument, Inferiority Complex, Intervention, Jealousy, Lies, M/M, Self-Hatred, Swearing, Threats, Trust Issues, Verbal Abuse, Verbal Argument, Yut-Lung isn't a good person, anger issues, argument, everyone fucks up and does wrong here, from both parties, intervention gone wrong, mild physical violence, neither is Ash, no recovery, poorly handled situation, self-destructive behaviour, severe alcoholism, shouting, toxic behaviour, unhapy ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-06
Updated: 2021-03-06
Packaged: 2021-03-12 15:21:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,051
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29886561
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Vasser/pseuds/Vasser
Summary: Yut-Lung's head is in pieces after Blanca left him and Sing abandoned him. He is drunk out of his mind day in and day out, but a visit from a figure from the past makes everything worse...
Relationships: Ash Lynx/Okumura Eiji (mentioned), Lee Yut-Lung/Ash Lynx (undertones), Lee Yut-Lung/Blanca (undertones)
Comments: 1
Kudos: 9





	Pathetic Fragments

**Author's Note:**

> Woo! I don't know where this spawned from but it's dertainly a thing that happened!
> 
> Not usually the kind of thing I write but I basically looked at Yut-Lung's subplot in Banana Fish and went 'how unhealthy could I possibly make this?' This is the result!
> 
> Strong trigger warnings are in place for toxic behaviour, verbal abuse, severe alcoholism and self destructive tendancies!
> 
> If you still decide to read anyway I hope you enjoy!
> 
> ~ Love, Vasser x

"So. He left."

Yut-Lung tensed in surprise at the voice behind him before he whirled around and glared. Squaring his shoulders and lifting his chin, he tried to look as proud and as strong as he could. Inside he was a hollow wreck but he would be damned if he went to his grave letting Ash think he hadn't been as strong as him.

Mentioning Blanca was a blow below the belt, though. No name had been mentioned but the long-haired boy knew he meant Blanca. The day the ex-assassin had left the country one of the Lee family's spies had overheard a conversation between Ash and him, one where he mentioned going back to the Caribbean and offered to bring the blonde teenager with him. He had extended no such offer and no goodbye to Yut-Lung. The Chinese boy had planned on killing Sergei for it but he had disappeared without a trace. Either way, that conversation between the two of them meant that Ash knew full well that Yut-Lung had been abandoned.

The bastard was just rubbing it in...

"I always knew you weren't dead after everything. Even the stabbing was a hoax set up by you, wasn't it," the younger man stated as he looked the lynx in the eye. "You staged your own death so that no one would come hunting for you and your little pet in Japan."

He hadn't had to fake the venom in his voice when he mentioned Eiji. That innocent little brat was so sheltered and good and pure; he was everything that held Ash back and everything that Yut-Lung had once wished he was.

Ash narrowed his lethal jade eyes at the younger man, strolling casually closer as if he weren't at all threatened by him. Everything Yut-Lung had tried to do, and this bastard still saw him as nothing! Why did he even still care? He had proved how weak he really was. After killing his brothers he lost his sense of purpose, turned to drinking, became self-destructive, refused to get better. Even Sing had given up on him after six months of no improvement.

Wrapping a calloused hand around Yut-Lung's thin neck, the blonde stared him dead in the eye and added the faintest hint of pressure.

"I'm not here to kill you, but say another bad word about Eiji and I might just change my mind and crush your throat," he warned seriously in a low voice. 

"What do you mean you aren't here to kill me?! You don't give a shit about me, I have no worth to anybody! Why leave your little dream castle in Japan if not to stop me from being a threat?!"

Yut-Lung couldn't help but lose his temper. All he had dreamed of towards the end of the Golzine era was for Ash to see him as worthy enough to kill. Blanca had made him feel understood, had said that they were two of the same and that Ash was different from them, but then had thrown the Chinese boy aside like a useless rag doll to go and help the blonde genius! Now Ash had come back, and for what? Clearly just to prove that he knew Yut-Lung knew about him being in Japan and that he didn't care in the slightest. 

Ash was here to prove he saw him as nothing.

With a heavy sigh the blonde let go of the younger man. What he needed right now was a drink, and clearly his greatest rival's perception of him couldn't sink any lower so he reached for the wine. 

"What are you doing, Yut-Lung? I'm here for you, and you keep drinking?"

"What the fuck are you talking about?"

As much as he hated to admit it the bastard had his attention. Here for him... Hadn't that been one of his ideal scenarios before he had gone off the deep end? The one and only Ash Lynx giving enough of a fuck about him to come and deal with him personally, whether that be fighting him or striking a deal with him?

There was a beat of silence in the room and his rival looked at his hand pointedly. The half empty wine bottle was still clutched in his hand and he realised that the deadly gang leader was waiting for him to make his choice; drink himself to death or listen to what Ash had to say. Knowing that he could always resume his self-pitying drinking if whatever the blonde had to say was a waste of time, he placed the bottle down and turned his full attention to the man. 

A self-satisfied smirk settled onto Ash's features as he leaned arrogantly against the wall. What Blanca saw in this devil over him he would never understand despite the fact that he had a great deal of admiration for the lynx himself. Yut-Lung's admiration stemmed from the fact that he knew with a little pushing Ash could be fearless, ruthless, unfeeling. He could be the strongest and most dangerous powerhouse in New York, and he could inspire the Chinese man if he just tapped into that. Sergei wanted to coddle and shelter the blonde from any more hardship, treat him like a child and protect him, diminish him to less than he could be. He didn't understand. Ash was just like him, could be just like him, yet for some reason Sergei chose to abandon Yut-Lung to gain Ash's favour.

The bitter thoughts left a bad taste in his mouth.

"Well, picture this: I'm in Japan and Eiji and I are fighting a hell of a lot because it turns out it's nearly impossible to domesticate a feral lynx," the American native started with a look of sheer satisfaction on his face. "Despite how fucking miserable Golzine and other pricks like Arthur made it, it turned out I missed the gang life. The thrill, the violence, the freedom... I don't know what it was, but I missed it. Then Sing calls me and tells me that frankly you've become pathetic," he continued while raising an eyebrow, giving the younger man a judgemental once-over that implied he agreed that he was a pathetic mess right now. "So I decide that I was wrong, I was an idiot for not seeing before that you were right. I was destined to be so much more than I was, and you're the only person who makes me angry enough to drive me to those heights."

It took a second for all of this to sink in to Yut-Lung's honestly slightly muddled head. The lynx had gotten so defensive over Eiji's honour earlier that he could hardly believe that the two of them had been having huge fights and had, presumably, separated. Now Ash was coming to him with a sudden offer of a rival, a new purpose, a battle to be fought and a newfound rage to drive him. A competition.

There was no way it was real. It was too good to be true and before the blonde had faked his own death he had been so genuinely desperate to escape the world they had been in. Something didn't add up in this situation and he was not going to fall for it no matter how tipsy or drunk he may or may not be. 

"Piss off, I don't believe you for a second," he hissed out in sheer anger. "You still love Eiji, you aren't an unfeeling fucking monster who would want this! You basically offered me what I wanted in the past word for word on a silver platter, I'm not fucking buying it!" He hissed before a piece suddenly clicked in his mind. Sing had told Ash how bad a state Yut-Lung was in. Sing had been in contact, knew for a fact the blonde American was alive... Sing was current acting head of the Chinese mafia with access to all the funds.

"How much did Sing pay you to come and try to snap me out of it?"

The blonde looked genuinely confused for a split second before dropping the act and looking at Yut-Lung with a different kind of gaze, the worst gaze Ash had ever turned on him. Pity. 

"He didn't pay me anything, I don't know where you got that idea. Sing is our friend and he's worried as shit about you, I came free of charge as a favour," he finally admitted with narrowed eyes. "What the fuck brought all this on?!" The demanded question finally left Ash's lips.

Yut-Lung didn't see a point in lying. He was a fucking wreck, he was a menace to Ash's life. He was nothing, so why not throw the truth in their face and let them see every pathetic little part of him? It's not like anyone could hate him anymore than they already did.

"After I murdered my brothers and their families I lacked no purpose. My life was built around fucking revenge and that backfired once my revenge was done. I started to slip but Blanca managed to keep me afloat, managed to help me look up for a brief split second before suddenly abandoning me! I thought he gave a shit but he didn't! No one does! So I crashed and burned because why go on if no one gives a shit about you, right?! Not that you would understand, for some reason everyone you've ever met fucking loves you!"

What had the American been hoping to achieve by offering him the rivalry and the ongoing bloodlust he had so badly wanted? It could never have snapped him out of it, especially if Ash had never planned on carrying through in the first place. The guy was actually just as pathetic as Yut-Lung, a fucking weakling who had no idea how he was supposed to help people because he was too absorbed in his own wants to be able to bring anything to the table for anyone else.

Apparently the admittedly-drunk boy had said that out loud without meaning to, because Ash's eyes darkened in spite and he actually dared to slap Yut-Lung. 

"Get a fucking grip, Lee. No one's life is perfect, and mine certainly isn't! Not everyone loves me," he hissed lowly as he grabbed the Chinese boy boy the chin, forcing him to look him straight in those cold jade eyes. "Here's a news flash; Sing cares about you plenty, and so do me and Eiji! Despite everything you did to us we know you're just misguided and traumatised and fucking scared! Get a grip and at least get in touch with Sing before you go labelling yourself and unlovable piece of shit!"

The words were all furious demand and every part of Yut-Lung screamed in protest at being ordered around by someone he thought hated him so much. Sing cared, did he? Then why the fuck did he abandon him?! Everyone was like Blanca, a liar and a, uncaring bastard. 

"Get out before I shoot you." It was the calmest Yut-Lung had sounded since Ash had arrived, and the blonde instantly backed off, no doubt realising he had pushed the younger man to a limit that he should never have reached. If Ash didn't leave right now he knew himself well enough to know he was angry enough to actually kill the lynx. 

Within a second the blonde had shown himself out of the room and the Chinese man had glared at the door to his office for a solid half an hour after he was already long gone, thoughts swirling through his head endlessly. All they had done was spark anger in each other, yet he wanted Yut-Lung to believe that he and his Japanese pet cared? Bullshit. Nor did Sing or Blanca or anybody. No one loved him and no one would miss him when drink finally claimed his life.

Thoughts of people's happiness swarmed him. Blanca's happy and relaxed life in the Caribbean surrounded by the women he so adored seducing; Sing's strong bond with Lao despite past mistakes and the trust Sing had earned from every member of the Chinese mafia; Ash and Eiji in their little domestic heaven. None of them needed him.

Yut-Lung picked up the wine and started drinking straight from the bottle.


End file.
